ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
