so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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