I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
