we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
soo... how was my night?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
