"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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