it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
