At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
