Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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