Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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