I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Randomize
