i love accidental penises.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
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