my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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