Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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