so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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