k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
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Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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