I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
