Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Be still, my beating vagina.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
