hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
be right there i have to get my cape
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
