Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college

(516): View more from New York

is she hot?

(802): View more from Vermont

She is now

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass

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(708): View more from Illinois

bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.

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(559): View more from California

The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god

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(509): View more from Washington

He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.

(425): View more from Washington

Is that even possible?

(509): View more from Washington

I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.

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(512): View more from Texas

He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab

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