Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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