is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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