my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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