I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
