Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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