Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
