I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
