I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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