You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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