Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
