I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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