Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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