you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
