Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
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when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
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Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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