No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
