Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
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He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
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I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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