we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
