Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
