It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
