Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
