do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize