Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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