Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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