Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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