If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
