All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
