omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
