just survived the first fart of the relationship.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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