Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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