She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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