Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
