Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She's just so happy...and so naked.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
