C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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