she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
