What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Randomize
