Me. At least after what I've been through.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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