But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
