...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Bring me that man meat
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
