u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
