I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
