Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
