Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
did you just send me my own nude
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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