We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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