just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
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I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
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You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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