Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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